You are precious to me

It has been entirely too long since I've written, and I truly regret that. There are so many small moments and memories that I want to cling to, but they are like sand slipping through my fingers. Every grain of sand feels like gold. Life is so finite, I want to remember every second, every laugh, every silly face, before they are gone. Before you don't want to snuggle up to me on the couch, or be tucked in to bed, or walked up to the school. I want to hold you and hold our moments tight in my heart. No matter what, no matter how long goes between entries, please know that moments with you, down to the smallest toe tickle, are the most valuable in my life. 

I am unwinding for the evening, and to my right is your car carpet, a bag of half put away hotwheels, a soft Elsa blanket, set up as a scene for dolls, a barbie using a Halloween spider as a cash register. A doll being served a clothed bright pink fish as a meal. Your very pointless "ready to wake" alarm clock, foam swords and the glow sticks that are long burned out but that you couldn't bear to throw away. There is a party hat and a half deflated balloon left over from the sweet and happy memories that we made during Jason's fifth birthday party. It is a corner of chaos, and of imagination, and childlike wonder and joy. May you someday sit and smile at the mess your kids have left you, and also think that the time is finite, and that it is precious.