Dear Babysitter

Dear Babysitter,
 I’d like to preface by saying that my kids are awesome. They are the smartest, and the cutest, and they tell the best poop jokes. Here are just a few guidelines to help while you’re watching them! Clothing: Jace is almost positive that he should never have to dress himself, but will be extremely particular about the clothing he wants to wear. If you tell him to get dressed in “going out clothes” he will change from his current pair of pajamas into a new pair of pajamas. It’s his thing, we don’t fight it. Socks are a whole different thing, when it comes to socks, Jace is a committer. He will wear them forever if you let him. You have two options: trick him into a bath and steal the socks(this may cause a meltdown), or coax him into new socks by exaggerating the coolness level of the clean pair of socks. Star Wars socks are always less cool than Spiderman socks, that’s just the way it is.
Candy: They are both going to ask for candy, multiple times per day. Sometimes they will ask again immediately after receiving an answer, whether you say yes or no. IF you say yes, they will ask for another, before even obtaining the first piece. This continues in a vicious cycle until you finally and inevitably say no. And then they will ask again.
Movies at night: Every night they will ask to watch a movie in our room. This is something we occasionally allow, and about 80% of the time it ends badly. Their selection of movies is on top of my wardrobe, and they will fight over who gets to pick the movie. They will opt to play rock, paper, scissors to decide their champion, and Aria will cheat. If she won last time, cheat in Jace’s favor. Chances are very good that there will be tears, but especially if Aria is the loser. They will try to con you into leaving the bathroom light on, and the closet light on, and the bedroom light on…etc. They are conning you, the only light they get is the TV. Spy on them with the baby monitor. 20% of the time they will peacefully watch the movie and then beg for another. 80% of the time our bed turns into a wrestling ring, and there will be jumping, cackling, kicking and regular rounds of sibling torture. If this happens, they get three strikes then they are booted to their rooms. There will be tears. Jace will be offended you accused him of acting up, he’ll say “I would NEVER!”, it’s his only argument, you are stronger than him. Basically, a movie in our room ends in whining for another, crying because they are being sent to their room, or grouchy kids the next day….so opt out as often as you’d like.
Naptime: When Jace wakes up from his nap, he will call for you. He’ll be completely calm until you open the door, and then he’ll start yelling that he doesn’t want you, he wants someone else. Don’t worry, it happens to everyone. Santa could open the door and he’d cry that it wasn’t the Easter Bunny instead. You have two options: leave the door open and go downstairs, or wait there for him to chill out, and convince him you weren’t the worst option possible for the first face he saw post nap.  If you opt to go downstairs, he’ll cry. A LOT. He’ll swear he wanted you all along and that you’re traitorous for leaving him. If you stay upstairs, he may or may not cry…A LOT. Good luck with that roulette.

Entertaining Convos

Aria and Jace today:

A: "Pretend that you're a dad, ok?"
J: "No, I am VENOM!!"
A "But pretend that you can become a dad too"
J: "Ok, but pretend I didn't, because I didn't want to"
A: "Dad, do you want this food I made?"
J: "I am not your Dad, I am VENOM!"
A: "Oops, I guess I forgot your name. I'm just going to call you Dad when I forget your name, ok?"
J: "No, that is not my name. Do not call me your dad."
A: "Alright Dad, pretend that I'm 18 now."
J: "Kid, I am NOT your dad. You don't have a dad, and will NEVER have a dad!!"


That pretend world is a harsh place.

Eerie

   Chris is off on TDY in Virginia this week. The kids and I were going for a walk to look at Christmas lights, when out of nowhere Jace says "Mom, Aria is my sister, and my brother is with Dad in 'ginia". When I asked him for clarification, he repeated the same. So I asked him his brother's name, and he said something quiet and undistinguishable that sounded a little bit like "dragon". "Oh! Your brother's name is dragon?" Chris always takes a toy from each of the kids to go on adventures with him while he's away. He sends back pictures and videos of them doing silly things regularly to keep the kids connected to his trip. This trip he brought a small ninja keychain, and a dragon bath toy.
"No, my brother is with the ninja and dragon, helping keep Daddy safe."
I had chills.
I don't know what I believe about people who pass away looking down on you, but it immediately made me think of my miscarriage, something I never discuss with the kids. Out of nowhere Aria says, "Mom, what happens to me and Jace if you die, and if Daddy dies?" Just light conversation while strolling through Christmas lights...

So here it is:

Aria and Jason,
You are SO loved. You were blessed to be born into a family of people who truly love you, and truly love children. If something happens to me and your dad, you will never lack in love. I have complete faith that you will be well cared for and will live an amazing life. Your father and I have absolutely no intention of leaving you, but life is unpredictable. If something happens to us, here is what you will do:
You will be happy. Honor us by finding joy in everything. Dress up, throw crazy parties. Laugh with your friends, and with strangers. Ignore all stereotypes, and find yourself in every category of people. Immerse yourself into the community: volunteer, explore, expand your horizons. Try new things. Go on roller coasters and hikes, swim with dophins, sky dive. Never lose your sense of adventure, soak in all of the things this amazing world has to offer. Love, like you've never lost. Don't tie up your heart in the hurt of loss. Every thing comes to an end, and living in fear only stunts the beauty of everything around you. My wish for you is to live: Truly. Completely. Freely.

Chris is making me post this...

I haven't been on in entirely too long, but here are some moments worth note:

Today Aria was talking with her hands, perfectly imitating Chris's gestures, while lecturing a friend about her "rememberies". It was pretty adorable.

Halloween was Monday, and the kids have been asking every single day for a month if they could go see the "Haunted House", which is really just a decorated house on base that themes their lights with music. The kids are completely entranced by it. They don't understand that during the daylight, those things are significantly less exciting.

Aria's birthday is on Friday, and we are having a conflict of interests about the party. Something about a bouncy house, pool, princess, sophia, pokemon party? SO...for now we are having a pool party. It is our last one here in Hawaii and that blows my mind a bit. When we moved here, she was a measly 18 months old. I'm going to go cry now...

Chris is the one who made me make this post, to get back in the habit. He's deemed it acceptable and says I can go back to having sangria now. PEACE!

Ears

Today Chris was playing with the kids and mentioned ears. Aria told him "You have big ears like a monkey!"

I have to laugh because he's always been self conscious of his ears, and I've told him for our entire relationship that I don't think they are disproportionate. Guess I'm wrong!

Aunt Starla's Visit

One of the amazing things about modern technology is being able to easily connect with people from all over the world with just a few mouse clicks. I've especially appreciated this when it comes to family! Aunt Starla and I "met" over Facebook years ago, before Aria was even conceived, and have kept in touch for many years. When one of her more local vacation plans fell through, she decided to come meet us for the first time instead! This was such a cool visit, since Chris hasn't seen her in 22 years either.
We really enjoyed the visit! We went on a pirate cruise, had a few BBQs, went on island adventures, and she and Chris spent Memorial Day exploring Pearl Harbor. One of the coolest things, though, was that she was here for Chris' promotion ceremony and was able to attend and pin him on. It was amazing timing for being just a chance opportunity for a visit.
One of the best things about being married is the wonderful extra family I've gained. I'm so thankful!

Splashlete

Minion number 1 has started swim lessons! I was a lifeguard for years, so I've been anticipating this day for a long time. Just like any other ex instructor turned parent, I've spent the last few years of the kid's lives dunking them or spraying them in the face with water for preparation! Aria is a very cautious experimenter, and water has just recently become something she's been willing to really explore. We've had a lot of ocean practice, so I'm sure the pool felt very tame!
The entire group of newbies was tested their first day to split up into three groups based on skill level. Once they announced every new test, Chris and I would look at each other and speculate on whether she would do it. Ari blew bubbles, floated like a starfish, and let them dunk her all the way under the water. When she was assigned to the top group I about lost it, beaming with silly parent pride. And then we took that kid straight out for ice cream with sprinkles, because sprinkles are for winners lol.